The Aiki Connection

New Year's Resolution - Creating the Life We Envision

2011-12-31T14:19:00.000-08:00

New Years is the perfect time to make changes in our lives since change is in everyone's consciousness. One of the best ways we can create the life we envision for ourselves is by writing. There is empirical evidence that shows we can improve our well-being, optimism, and enjoyment of life by beginning a "Best Possible Selves Diary."

The practice of writing has an extraordinary effect upon our consciousness. When our mind is calm, our creativity is high and we can access our higher mental faculties. This is the perfect mental state to create our future built upon positive expectations.

To begin the practice of writing in a journal, simply find a place to sit that feels peaceful and relaxing. Without over analyzing our thoughts, practice visualizing and believing the best possible outcome for this year. Then write from a positive perspective with the feeling of great expectation. The power of this exercise comes from allowing ourselves to believe and feel like our best possible self has already created what we want.

Keeping a journal of our best possible self can help overcome life's daily challenges. If we fall back into our old habits and behaviors, we can always re-visit our journal and know what we visualized and wrote about is still possible. All we have to do is accept that we have the power to choose our reality, develop the habits that will ensure our success, and allow ourselves to succeed.

Tips for a Happy Holiday

2011-12-02T14:16:00.000-08:00

The holiday season can be a time of great joy and celebration, yet it can also be a time of great stress. During this time of year, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and out of balance at work and home. What’s missing is our ability to be at peace with ourselves, and as a result our relationships can suffer. To reduce stress and make this time of year more enjoyable for everyone, here are some tips which will help add joy to this special time of year.

• Eliminate Negative Habits
Everyone is busy this time of year, some are even frantic, yet many people don’t recognize how their habits actually increase their frustration and rob them of their productive time. If we feel overburdened, perhaps it’s time to give our mind a rest from stress and focus on the positive aspects throughout each day. By training our mind to let go of limiting thoughts and negative emotions, we free ourselves from the burden of repetitive negativity. When we develop the habit of working from a positive perspective, we reduce our stress, feel happier, and improve our health.

• Share Words of Encouragement
When people are overly stressed, a few well-timed words of encouragement can be a welcomed gift. Being a positive influence can help people to remain calm, collaborate effectively, and make the season more enjoyable. When we naturally share words of encouragement, the impact upon people’s lives is immeasurable.

• Reduce Interruptions
Although we cannot eliminate interruptions, we can learn how to respond to changing circumstances and make the most out of our busy periods this season. I know an engineer that honors his need to have a quiet place to concentrate. Sometimes he reserves a small conference room when one is available. His coworkers assume he's at a meeting, but actually he's reducing his interruptions, doing some of his best work, and getting projects done on time. Giving ourselves quiet time to focus when we are at our peak performance can be one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.

• Be Patient
Even small problems can become exaggerated. Being calm when others are anxious directly reduces tension and improves the quality of our relationships. Being patient allows us to see the big picture and make positive contributions from a calm center. Developing patience helps reduce our stress and is a value to everyone we encounter.

• Celebrate Success
This is a great time of year to celebrate our successes—that is, everyone’s successes. Find out what’s new in people’s lives and join in the celebration. When we enthusiastically share in the joy of celebration, we strengthen the connection we have with others and gain a greater appreciation of the many blessings in our own life.

The holiday season is the perfect time to be at peace with ourselves and grateful for all we have, as well as the opportunities we have to help others and improve the world in which we live.

Three Thoughts for Today

2010-06-30T17:28:00.000-07:00

One -- Our beliefs create our reality

We are limited by what we believe is possible. Once we develop the mental focus to concentrate and the willpower to see our desires through to fruition, we are able to create what we believe. There is only one thing that can stop us from creating what we want, and that is doubt. If we have doubts, we must realize they are only shadows of limitations that we have adopted from others who have tried and given up. Besides, doubts are not who we truly are. Sometimes the greatest leap of faith we can take is in ourselves. Once we know what we want and are willing to commit to see it through, we can achieve whatever we choose.

Two -- When we learn to accept ourselves can we greet others with full acceptance

The level of acceptance that we greet others with directly affects the outcome of the encounter and the quality of the long term relationship. Have you ever been greeted with complete acceptance? It’s a rare occurrence in today’s world. When we greet someone with complete acceptance, it opens the doorway to truth and honesty. If we greet someone with mental and emotional resistance (even if it’s only a little) we limit our ability to clearly communicate with that person. Our ability to accept others is always limited by how we accept ourselves.

Three -- There is great power in seeing the best in others

When we practice seeing the best in others we improve our relationships. We know exactly what our relationship is with anyone by paying close attention to the first thought that crosses our mind the instant we see them. What is our first response to that person? Paying attention to our first thought will give us great insight into the quality of that relationship. How many of our relationships have some negativity or emotional resistance in them? When we practice seeing the best in others, we help them and ourselves to let go of negative thinking and habits.

Remember, how we choose to respond and relate to others is a reflection of our habits and beliefs. One of life’s greatest gifts is that we can change our mind and improve how we relate to ourselves and others. When we see the best in every person, we are making the world a better place.

A Cup of Coffee

2010-05-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago while driving home from a writing retreat in the Sierras, I asked Maureen, "How's your coffee?" She smiled and said, "It’s great." I was happy for her because I know how much Maureen loves a good cup of coffee.

This may sound like a simple situation, but what would have happen if I asked, "Is today’s coffee as good as the coffee you make at home?"

Asking that question would have made Maureen compare her present cup of coffee with another coffee experience. By comparing, it would have taken her away from the joy she was experiencing at the present moment.

The more time we spend in the present moment, the more joy there is in our lives. When we compare events, it brings up experiences from the past that can create judgments. By living in the present moment, we expand our awareness and enjoy the experience that’s before us right now.

Seeing the Beauty in Life

2010-04-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered how people can look at the same view and yet never see the same thing?

Years ago, I was setting up my camera and tripod to take a beautiful seascape picture near Big Sur, California. Two men hiking along the trail paused as they passed to see what I was photographing. As they walked away, I overheard one of the men say, "I’ve walked this trail hundreds of times, but I’ve never seen what he sees."

So often people only see what they’ve seen before with the same mindset, yet the beauty in life is often discovered when we see things as if for the first time. Creativity and inspiration come from seeing things in a new light which often leads to incredible innovation that benefits us all.

Peace of Mind

2010-02-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

How do we find peace of mind in a world that seems to be spinning out of control? The answer lies in quieting the busy mind. Yet when we try to sit still for a few moments our mind seems to be overflowing with thoughts and emotions and we wonder if peace of mind is even possible. Sometimes I wonder if we even allow ourselves to be at peace.

One morning as I was sitting quietly for a few minutes before a busy day, this thought crossed my mind:

"I accept all good things for Michael."

I visualized going through the day without wondering or worrying about what would happen in each situation; instead, I envisioned all good things coming to Michael.

What I felt was a peaceful state that lasted throughout the day. Even when things weren’t going as planned, my perspective shifted as I saw the bigger picture.

A few days later, I mentioned to a friend how this simple exercise greatly improved my peace of mind. She replied, "Michael, what you’ve found is present moment consciousness and allowed yourself to succeed."

The next time you want a little peace of mind, take a few moments to breathe fully and accept all good things for yourself. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel and how many good things do come into your life.

The Shell

2010-02-01T13:44:00.000-08:00

One day while walking along the beach, I found an abalone shell in the sand. When I picked up the shell, I immediately felt the rough texture of the outer shell that protects the abalone from its environment and predators. As I turned the shell over, the beautiful iridescent colors and the smoothness of the inner shell was the opposite of its rough exterior.

The abalone shell reminded me of the people we see everyday. Each of us has a rough exterior that faces the outer world and an inner radiance that reflects our true brilliance and potential.

Clearing the Air

2009-12-02T15:51:00.000-08:00

After arriving early for a business meeting to give a presentation, I was met with quite a surprise. As I walked into the meeting room, I suddenly felt the residual turmoil from events of the previous meeting. The phrase, "The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife" crossed my mind.

With less than an hour before my presentation, I mentally and energetically "cleared the air" to insure a positive experience for everyone at the meeting. When the business meeting was finished, several people told me, "This was by far the most productive meeting we’ve ever had in this room."

At times, all of us have felt the emotional tension within a room or the peaceful reverence of a sacred place. Every environment is imprinted by the thoughts, emotions, and spiritual qualities of the people who inhabit the space. When we take the time to create a positive environment, we discover a greater level of success and happiness for ourselves and others.

Peek at the Future

2009-12-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

Recently I compared my 2008 calendar of speaking engagements and coaching with my 2009 schedule and noticed an interesting coincidence. The dates I worked with clients in 2008 were the same or close to the same dates in 2009. This pattern was consistent throughout the year. Isn’t interesting how our daily activity creates our future.

Our thoughts and behavior directly affects our current circumstances and our success depends on how we feel each day. If we want a peek at the future, we can pay close attention to what we are doing today as we connect to others and the world around us. The level of conscious awareness we express at each moment influences what we create for the future.

The Gentle Touch

2009-09-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

My good friend, Jeanette Krause, a registered nurse for fifty years, once said to me, "There is great power in saying the right thing at the right time." Jeanette called this the power of the gentle touch.

One day while purchasing some books in a local bookstore, I sensed the sales clerk had an undercurrent of distraction and sadness. During our brief transaction, I focused my energy on appreciation for this person; after all, she was helping me.

The clerk handed me the change with a half-hearted smile and a weak thank you. I simply said, "Thanks for sharing the smile."

Suddenly, her whole demeanor changed as if to say, "Someone noticed me." She immediately straightened her posture and her half-hearted smile was transformed into a pure expression of joy. The clerk’s eyes were now sparkling as she said, "The smile’s free."

As I turned and walked away I overheard the clerk in a cheerful voice say, "May I help you?" to the next person in line. I couldn’t help but silently thank my friend, Jeanette, for teaching me the power of the gentle touch.

The Power of Acceptance

2009-08-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

Time and again we’ve all watched people disagree at meetings. What’s interesting is that when people start to take sides, they almost always look away from one another or cross their arms while they emotionally distance themselves. By doing this, people unconsciously create obstacles and barriers in negotiations.

A good way to keep negotiations productive and avoid resistance is to stay positively connected to each other when negotiating. If we see the other party as the enemy, we create mental and emotional resistance; rather, if we see the other party as a friend, we set the tone of acceptance and expand the possibilities of a win-win negotiation.

Remember, every time we look away, turn away, or move away from another person we are creating distance and disconnecting. Understanding these subtle signals give us a tremendous advantage in negotiations. When we send positive signals, we are eliminating obstacles and creating an environment for smooth negotiations.

Morning Zen

2009-08-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

Every morning, I wake up early for the pleasure of a five or ten minute walk in the garden. As I silently walk down the garden path, I notice the sunlight in the trees, the sound of the morning birds, and the smell of the fragrant flowers.

Each day, the ever subtle changes in the garden throughout the seasons teach me the importance of being aware of everything around me. Spending a few minutes in nature gives me a feeling of calmness and serenity that stays with me throughout the day.

A Fresh Perspective

2009-07-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

When my children were young, we took them on their first visit to the Grand Canyon. As parents, we have always shared our memories of the canyon with our children, the many changing seasons, the spectacular sunsets, the tale of our mule trip, and the grand sense of splendor.

After a long trip from California, our family arrived at the south rim of the Grand Canyon. Excitedly, we parked our car and walked hurriedly to the lookout point, only to peer straight into a white thickness of heavy clouds. The entire canyon was filled to the rim with fog. The clouds were so thick our visibility was limited to no more than ten or twelve feet.

Our children were disappointed, wondering what all the hype was about. We assured them that things would be different tomorrow. The next morning we returned to the same lookout point and discovered the magnificent view.

This reminded me of how often our mental fog blocks the beauty of what lies before us. The importance of giving our mind time to clear always brings a fresh perspective. Once the clouds clear, what lies before us is often more spectacular than what we imagined.